


To Do Better

by EmberForge



Series: Bad Things Happen to Flawed People [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor spoilers up to episode 19, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 08:36:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14891204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberForge/pseuds/EmberForge
Summary: A mysterious cause finds Molly awakened from his slumber under the cart.





	To Do Better

_He opened his eyes to be greeted by darkness. The heady scent of earth filled his senses, and reaching out, he felt dirt scrape under his fingernails on every side. His first panic came at realizing that he must be buried alive. His second came when he realized he could remember nothing of how he got there, or, in fact, anything at all before that. He opened his mouth, heedless of the dirt, desperately calling out-”_

It seemed like only a minute had passed since falling asleep that Molly found himself awake again. The rain beat steadily on the top of the cart as he lay on the only dry patch of ground underneath. The nightmare had been a familiar one, though the ending was much more abrupt than normal. He usually always had to suffer through digging his way out of his own grave before being blessed with consciousness. Molly listened to the sounds of the night, trying to figure out what had woken him. Though the rain drowned out a lot of the typical nighttime noises, he could make out the sound of Beau snoring- not unusual, so probably not the cause. Peering out from under the cart, he saw everyone else somehow sleeping under the drenching rain. At the edge of their camp, he could just make out Fjord and Jester on watch, leaning close together as they whispered in the darkness. There didn’t seem to be any sounds of creatures lurking nearby, and the lighting and thunder seemed to have given up a while ago- 

There. 

A soft whimper coming from behind him.

Carefully rolling around to face the other side, Molly scanned the area. The only other presence he could spot was Nott, curled up next to one of the cart’s wheels on the opposite side of their “shelter”. Her face was obscured into her hood, and Molly couldn’t tell whether she was awake or sleeping. Now that he was aware, he could make out more sounds of whimpering, choked down behind cloth and a practice. Molly was very familiar with the technique himself, if he was honest. He carefully crawled closer towards her, stopping about two feet away. “Nott?” he asked quietly. “Are you awake?”

 He saw her ears twitch at his voice, an indication that she was most certainly awake. Her whimpers abruptly cut off, and Molly was vaguely aware that she must have started holding her breath. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Can you talk to me?”

He watched as her form shuddered, and after a couple minutes and a few long, gasping breaths, she uncurled just enough to where he could see her tear streaked face. “Just a nightmare. I’m f-fine,” she stuttered. Her voice cracked as she spoke.

“You don’t exactly look fine,” Molly said gently. “Would you like to talk about it?” Nott shook her head in response. Molly considered his options. “May I touch you?” Nott took a moment to consider it, then answered him with a slight nod. Molly scooted over until he was right beside her and carefully looped his arm around her, pulling her against his side. Almost instinctively, Nott buried her head into his shirt, and he felt her shake as silent tears started to drip down her face. He could already feel moisture soaking into his shirt. Out of all the ways he could have imagined getting wet tonight, this was certainly not one of them.

“Shh. It’s alright. It’ll pass.” Molly ran his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion, trying to comfort her. He lost track of time as they sat there, him whispering soothing words and her silently crying. Eventually, he started to feel her calm, and her shuddering resolved into deep breaths that moved her entire form as she regained her composure. 

“There we go. It’s alright, darling, It’s alright.” As he continued his ministrations, he heard Nott mumble something into his shirt in response. “I’m sorry dear, but you’re going to remove yourself from my shirt if you want me to hear what you’re saying.”

 He felt her shift, and looked down to see Nott’s yellow eyes meet his own as she unburied herself from his side. “I’m sorry, Molly.”

 “Whatever for?

“For waking you up.”

  “Oh Nott, you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand nightmares more than most.” Molly paused, considering. “I don’t think a single one of us has good dreams, to be honest. I think we’re lucky if they’re forgettable, at most.”

“I…” she wiped at the tear tracks on her face. “It turns out bringing up the past today wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be,” she whispered.

 “The past can be a tricky thing. Some people say they’d rather forget, but I’m sorry to tell you that even without a past, your mind still finds ways to haunt you,” Molly replied softly.

“I hate my past. Hate it. There are things that I’ll never be able to unsee; things that I’ll never be able to undo. But as much as I hate my past, it’s because I hate it so much that I became who I am. I think… I think I’d be even more scared to lose it. I’m afraid of what I’d become.” She paused, turning to stare at the dirt. “It’s just, goblins are such horrible, horrible creatures. And sometimes, I worry that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be anything more than one of them. Disgusting, monstrous, evil-” 

“Hey!” Molly said, cutting her off. He gently tilted her chin up with two fingers until their eyes met. “You’re none of those things. You’re Nott, the Brave. Comma included. You’re courageous, and funny, and clever. You’ve got friends who care about you. You’re better than those goblins could ever hope to be.” He gave her a gentle smile. “None of us are perfect. We all have histories that we’re not proud of. But it’s the fact that we’re trying to do better that makes us good people.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do. Besides, how can I judge others on where they’ve come from when I don’t even know about myself? To be honest with you, I worry sometimes, about the person I might have been before. I could’ve done some absolutely horrible things, and I have no idea about any of it. But there’s nothing I could do about it, even if I did know. We can’t change the past. But we can decide what we do in the future. I’m trying to do better, whatever that may be, and it’s clear that you are too.”

Nott scrubbed at her eyes again, and then looked up again, the yellow orbs a beacon in the darkness. “Thanks, Molly.”

“Not a problem, darling,” he said. “Now, I think it’s best that we both go back to sleep. You’re on the next watch shift, if I recall correctly, so you could use all the sleep you can get.” He shifted until he was laying down, then looked up at her and held an arm out in open invitation. When she didn’t move, he waved it around with a flourish before patting the ground in front of him invitingly.

“Are… are you sure?”

A brief image of Caleb and Nott curled together in the early morning, clearly bringing comfort to each other in their sleep came to mind. “Of course. I, for one, always appreciate the comfort of another person after a nightmare, and besides, it’s cold out.” He grinned, waggling his eyebrows, though he was unsure of how the display read in the dark. “I’ve been told that I’m a _fantastic_ furnace.”

After a moment of hesitation, Nott scampered over until she was a curled up pile of rags against Molly’s chest. Molly draped his arm over her, enveloping her in heat, and closed his eyes. The two drifted off to the sound of rain pattering against the top of the cart.

Neither of them had any more nightmares that night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you think this series is going well! I'm certainly enjoying writing it. I'm on a huge Critical Role, well... _roll_ , so if you have anything you want to see, let me know!


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